Don’t waste time and energy chasing something you don’t want.

I was speaking with a client the other day and she got me thinking.  At the end of our discussion, we were both laughing—mainly at ourselves.   

To give you some background, she’s a powerhouse.  No, I mean it.  We typically start our sessions with her catching me up on her week.  It reminds me of what it must be like to have Superman or Wonderwoman for a client.  

‘Whew, tough week!  After I saved 100 people from a burning building, the Bay Bridge started to collapse.  I had to hop over to Muir Woods to grab a fallen redwood to hold it up—which was on fire, by the way, but that’s another story—before the morning rush hour tumbled into the Bay…’

Anyway, we were talking about a potential career opportunity for her.  She is quite obviously being pursued by this organization, but the more she learns about it, the less interested she’s becoming.  Not unusual, right?  The interview process is like dating—it’s intended for you both to size each other up and determine if you’re right for one another. 

At the end of our session—most of which focused on how ‘she wasn’t really that into’ the job opportunity—she asked, ‘So based on what I’ve told you, do you think they’re interested in making me an offer?’

Wait.  What?

I had to smile, because I felt like I was looking in the mirror. 

‘So we’ve spent the last hour talking about how you’re NOT interested in this job,’ I said, ‘and now you’re asking me if I think he likes you?’

We both burst out laughing. 

She commented on how closely related career and dating are—in terms of the traps we get caught up in.  I told her about a guy I had dated a number of years ago.  Nice guy, but we weren’t a good fit and I had decided to break up with him.  He was clearly thinking the same thing, however, and ultimately beat me to the punch.  He wasn’t nasty about it or anything, pretty much said the same thing I had been thinking.  I was devastated!  And proceeded to mourn the loss of something I hadn’t wanted in the first place!

There’s a lesson in all this, she and I decided—and it applies to career, dating, and frankly life. 

Don’t waste time and energy chasing something you don’t want.

Author’s Note - thank you to ‘Wonderwoman’ for inspiring me and giving me your permission to share our conversation!